I was recently at a social event with other women aging from teens to mid thirties (just guessing from looking around the space). We were together to listen to beauty product presentations from local business owners, and I was really excited to be there. The group was no more than 10 guests in addition to the business owners.
I noticed as the event began the first presenter talked a lot about how people wear makeup in overkill or in tones that are uncomplimentary, and some of the guests chimed in with laughter and support of the presenter’s fault finding. Some went on to talk about other beauty faults that people make and how “silly” they all look.
My stomach started to churn and I knew then that it was my opportunity in that moment to giddy up and go. Being in a space where people enjoy tearing others apart to get a sense of pride for themselves, what an energy drainer. The first presenter continued to linger on the negative examples throughout her presentation and question and answer segment.
I opted to wait and see if the space lifted of the consuming negative energy. I wondered if everyone would continue to be completely unaware of what was actually happening in the shared space or quietly waiting for the information to be shared per the event description.
The second presenter shared a light peppering of the same negativity woven in her presentation. I was trying my best to look and act normal while glancing at the door and the clock. I wanted to run but I also wanted to stay for the beauty content that was promised.
I stayed for longer than I should have. When digesting the event later, I wondered why anyone would be comfortable with making fun of others socially?
Here are my guesses:
-Feeling insecure, less than, low self esteem
-Needing to elevate oneself by deflection (Look at them, not at me method.)
-Wanting to dominate the shared space
-Needing to feel in control of the environment
-Ignorance about the differences of others
-Needing to gain power
-Anxious about the opinions of others in the space
-History with feeling bullied/ made fun of by others
* I encourage everyone to be mindful of the energy you let into your personal space, and to the energy you contribute to groups socially. No one is perfect but being aware and mindful is a great place to start.