It is that time of year again. Back to school, and back to college; this is an exciting time for most. I think of awesome school supplies and back to school gear but also I think of back to school season as a unique chance to make long lasting friendships.
It is important that we be mindful in cultivating healthy friendships and I have 5 tips to get your year in friendship started.
Tip 1: Know who you are. You will be serving yourself a great deal of advantage by taking a little time to be clear about who you are, or who you want to be. Write it down, try to get at least 10 items or descriptions of who you are or who you aspire to be.
Tip 2: Know what you want in your friendships. Do you want to make friends who are creative, thoughtful, or giving? Be clear about what you are looking for in your friendships in order to better spot opportunities to connect with your interests and preferences while making friends in the process.
Tip 3: Be realistic. No friend will ever be a perfect match for all of your ideals and preferences. It is a benefit to walk the middle ground of having more positive exchanges in friendship to outweigh the negatives.
Tip 4: Know your deal breakers. There is a difference in having friends who have some quirks that feel negative and friends who are regularly ringing your “deal breaker” alarm. Some of my deal breakers include gossip, lying, lack of reciprocity and put downs. Think about what deal breakers matter for you and from there determine what friendships you want to maintain or pull back from.
The further you move away from unhealthy friendships, the more space and opportunity to allow positive healthy friendships to gravitate to you. The Law of attraction does require action to work.
Tip 5: Lead by your own example. Are you living up to who you say you are? If you are someone who talks about being a writer, are you actively writing? If you are an artist are you actively producing art? If you are a runner are you actively working on your fitness? You must take the action to be who you say you are. When you do this it sets the example for credible friendships to materialize. Credible people can always spot the difference from someone who talks the talk and someone who is walking the actual walk.
If you want authentic healthy friendships, your requirement is to be authentic and consistent.
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